Oh, so I tried to add it and it wouldn't. I created it in publisher with pics and captions but it won't attach or copy and paste at all. So, maybe I'll try adding just the text. Bummer! Here you go................
We found out in April, 2006 that we were expecting another baby. Our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at the beginning of February, 2006. That was really tough on Steve and I but we learned a lot from the whole experience. After losing our first baby, we felt empty inside and were anxious to try again. Once we found out that we were pregnant again, we were so happy and excited. We wanted so badly to begin having children and watching our family grow. Finding out about this pregnancy really came at the perfect time. I was student teaching at the time and was offered a job in the district where I was teaching for the following school year. This was a very flattering offer because the positions for new teachers were very slim. However, we had been trying to get pregnant again and at the time of the offer, we didn’t know yet that we were. We didn’t know the exact timetable of the Lord and wanted to make the right decision. We figured if it was going to take another year to get pregnant again, I could be teaching during that time and earn money for the two of us. But if we were to get pregnant again soon, I didn’t want to be caught in a contract and be expecting a baby during my contract year. Steve and I prayed about whether or not to accept this offer and go through with my first year of teaching or not. The principal at Longfellow elementary, Mr. Kelly Coughenour, made an informal offer on a Friday afternoon. I had the weekend to talk it over with Steve and think about our options and needed to let Mr. Coughenour know by Monday. Steve and I prayed and prayed to know what we should do. We decided not to take the job and that if it still wasn’t our time to have a baby, I could at least sub all year for experience. I still felt worried as to what I was going to say to Mr. Coughenour. I didn’t want to sound fickle or unsure of myself so I really prayed to know if we just happened to be pregnant or not. On Monday morning, I woke up early to take a pregnancy test even though it was a few days before the appropriate day of testing. It took a few minutes to show up but there was a definite positive line on the test. I ran into the bedroom to tell Steve and we were both so happy. I couldn’t believe that we were already pregnant again and that now was the time to prepare for a baby in our home. And the timing couldn’t have been any better, considering the turmoil over the job offer. Now I had a reason that the principal would understand for not taking the job, other than trying to explain that Steve and I received an answer to our prayers to not take the job. That Monday, the 10th day of April, turned out to be a beautiful day!
As graduation at the end of April approached, I began experiencing morning sickness. About a week after graduating and before I could find a job, my morning sickness became quite severe and I spent a lot of time in the bathroom and on the couch. Moving my head from side to side made me nauseous and the smell of almost every food sent me running to the bathroom. Poor Steve could only eat mild smelling foods around me and didn’t eat a homemade dinner for many weeks. I couldn’t cook much and hated the look and taste of many foods that I normally loved. The joke between us now is how much I despise Velveeta cheese. I tried eating it one night and it didn’t settle well and it came right back up a few moments later. Every time I saw the cheese after that or Steve would even say the word, I would lose whatever was in my stomach. I spent many weeks only eating rice crackers and fruit snacks to at least keep my tummy a little satisfied.
By about June, I started feeling a lot better and got a job at Melaleuca. Both Steve and I were working there but were both unhappy. At every end of the month, we had to work 12-hour shifts with only a half hour lunch. The work was very monotonous and the customers calling were often times very rude and/or angry. I was only allowed a certain amount of minutes to use the restroom each day and this made it very hard being pregnant. I was also not allowed to eat at my desk and having a sensitive stomach, I always felt queasy and uncomfortable. By the end of the summer, I quit working there and Steve quit about a month later. Steve got a job with the hospital and I began substitute teaching. I loved teaching and had fun being the pregnant sub for the fall semester. The kids would always ask lots of questions about my baby and the little girls always wanted to know what we were going to name the baby.
We were scheduled to find out the gender of our baby on August 22nd. About 3 weeks earlier, we had a routine appointment with Dr. Barton at Madison Women’s Clinic. During the appointment, the doctor was checking the heartbeat but couldn’t find it right away. I heard it slightly but then he pulled away the heart beat monitor and said, “I didn’t hear anything, did you?” I kind of nodded my head. He then told us in a quiet voice and a wink, “Lets take a look on the ultra sound machine to make sure the heart beat is strong and then we can take at peek at what you’re having.” He gave us a huge smile and we quickly agreed. We then got to see our baby with recognizable features. Dr. Barton quickly went to investigate the baby and said without a doubt, “It’s definitely a girl!” I shrieked with excitement and then looked over at Steve. He seemed a bit confused and unsure of how to respond. I asked him later what he thought at that moment and he said, “…but girls are so high maintenance.” I asked Dr. Barton how often they were wrong and he said he could count on one hand how many times they had been wrong during the time he had worked in Rexburg. He then told us that this ultra sound was free and not to mention anything about our “sneak peak” to the tech on the 22nd. Then he told us that if she said it were a girl too, that we could be certain it was a girl. We went to the appointment on the 22nd and were able to see our little girl’s tiny body. She was growing perfectly and had the cutest little face and nose. Her heart was pumping perfectly in all four chambers, her kidneys were the right size, her spine looked just great, along with everything else. We were so happy to hear that everything was progressing so well. This appointment really alleviated a lot of my worries.
During the fall, I substitute taught in the Madison and Sugar City school districts. When I wasn’t subbing, I worked on little projects for Elli. I sewed a blessing dress for her, a couple of little outfits, curtains and a matching crib skirt, and some wooden wall hangings for her room. I also loved looking in stores for good deals on baby clothes and baby items. Steve watched her wardrobe grow and grow while his side of the closet got smaller and smaller. He would always comment that our baby had more clothes than we did. As December got closer, my patience became weaker. I wanted to meet our little girl so badly and could hardly wait until her arrival. I would often daydream about her birth and what she would look like, what she would smell like, if she would cry a lot, and if she would recognize our voices. At about 34 weeks and on, the doctors would measure my stomach and it would always be about 2 weeks ahead. For this reason, I thought (and hoped) that she would come a few weeks early. I would often times talk to my belly and tell Elli it was alright to come early and that I couldn’t wait to meet her. I became so antsy to have her come that I tried all sorts of remedies to help induce labor. Steve and I walked everywhere for weeks, I drank raspberry tea, Steve rubbed my feet and all the pressure points, I ate green grapes (who knows where that one came from), and I stomped around everywhere to try and move her lower in my pelvis. None of these worked, at least I don’t think they did. At 39 weeks, I had finally made progress and was dialated to 2 cm. I wasn’t effaced at all so the doctors told me to keep waiting. I did however ask them for a scheduled induction on my due date because I didn’t want to go over and go into labor during Christmas. Doctor Allred said that would be okay, and scheduled me for December 19th. On December 18th, I went in for my appointment to see if there was any progress. I was still measuring at 2 cm but was now effaced 75%. I was pretty excited about that but the doctor told us that it could still take a while for me to progress if I was induced because this was my first baby.
We decided that I would be induced anyway and we arrived at Madison Memorial Hospital at 7:30 a.m. on December 19th. Dr. Barton came in at about 8:00 a.m. and broke my water and ordered the nurse to start me on pitocin right away. They gave me small amounts of pitocin at first to see if I would progress on my own. At about noon, I was measuring 3cm, still not enough to receive an epidural. At about this time, the contractions were getting stronger and I was feeling them more and more. The nurses would come in every hour to check on me and ask me my level of pain on a scale of 1-10. My pain was becoming more intense but I still had to wait until I was at least 4 cm dialated to have the epidural. To alleviate the pain, I would try laying in different positions, stand up with Steve, and I even sat on a big birthing ball to take away some of the pressure down low. Eventually nothing was helping and I was in a lot of pain every few minutes when a contraction would hit. Steve would remind me to breathe and would often times hold my hand to comfort me. At about 4 p.m., I was checked again by one of the nurses and she finally declared that I was 4 cm. They called in the anesthesiologist who inserted the needle into my spine. I have always heard horrible stories about receiving the epidural needle but it wasn’t that bad. Yes, it did hurt but the pain was nothing compared to the contractions. Within 20 minutes, I was feeling relief and eventually couldn’t feel a thing. I quickly became very sleepy and tried napping in between the nurses coming in and out. Steve and I watched a few movies and tried to patiently wait as the baby continued to move down. By 8 p.m., I hadn’t moved past 4 cm dialated and Dr Barton came in to tell me that if I still hadn’t progressed in the next 4 hours, that he would probably have to perform a c-section. That made me especially nervous and I really didn’t want to have a c-section after laboring all day long. There was nothing I could do to move the baby along, so we just waited. At around 10 p.m., the nurse checked me and I was about 5 cm. After I hit 5, I progressed relatively quickly (compared to the rest of the day) and was finally at a 9-9 ½ at around 1 a.m. The nurse was running around trying to get everything ready for the delivery while Steve and I watched, not sure what to think. We had been at the hospital for 17 hours already and to finally be at the pushing point, seemed so surreal. I realized at this point that my epidural was wearing off really quickly and I could feel and lift my legs and could feel parts of my tummy. I asked the nurse what she thought and she told me that hopefully there was enough of the epidural left in me to carry me through delivery because if they gave me more of the medication, it would be too strong for me to feel anything while pushing. She told me if it was entirely too painful, they could give me something but recommended that I hold off until then. By about 1:30 a.m., everything was ready and it was time to push. I told the nurse that I could now feel everything and she echoed her advice from earlier. So we preceded and I began pushing, not knowing if I was doing it right or not. After about a half hour, the baby’s head had not moved much but the nurse tried to be positive. She kept telling me to push harder and longer and really try to push that baby down. Each time I would push, I felt like my eyes were going to pop out and it put so much pressure on my head. I felt each contraction come and would let the nurse know and I would breathe deeply, push for 10 seconds and repeat 3 times. Then we would wait for the next contraction. After a while, the baby’s heartbeat was going up and down and the nurse didn’t like the looks of that, so she put an oxygen mask on me so that the baby would receive more oxygen also. This dried out my mouth and became really annoying to have covering my face. However, I kept on pushing. After about an hour of this, the nurse left to go call the doctor because my progress was minimal. Steve and I were left alone to continue pushing. The contractions were coming about every 2 minutes and while waiting for each one to come, Steve would give me some ice and I would lay my head back and sometimes would actually fall asleep. My body was so exhausted and the pain was very intense. Steve was so tired as well and at one point while I was resting, he walked over to his bag to grab some almonds to munch on. I told him to put those down and if I couldn’t eat, he couldn’t either. Man was I grumpy! I was so frustrated and tired and thinking back on it, I am surprised I didn’t snap and say something more to him. He came right back over to me and kept helping me by counting through each 10-second push. He didn’t miss a beat! However, I kept asking him to speed up his count because it felt like his numbers were dragging by very slowly. He kept counting at his slow beat though. By about 3 a.m., Dr Barton came in to see how things were coming. He watched to see how I was pushing and if the baby was coming down with each contraction. Having him there caused me to push even harder because I didn’t want him to opt for a c-section. He encouraged me along with Steve and the nurse and finally said she was making some good progress. During some of the contractions, I would push for 10 seconds and he’d tell me to keep going and to push longer and harder. More and more of her head was showing but apparently there was not enough room for her to squeeze her head out. He showed Steve and I what the suction cup looked like and strongly suggested that he use it. We quickly agreed, wanting to have an end to all of this pain. After Dr Barton attached the suction, he began pulling every time I would push. I couldn’t believe the pain that I was now in. I thought it was bad before but now it was like all of my insides were ripping apart and the pressure and stretching were almost more than I could stand. Then I noticed that everyone was becoming extra supportive and were trying to get me to push for all I was worth. The doctor then informed me that the head was so close to coming out. They could all see that but I had no clue. All I knew was the incredible pain I was feeling. The epidural was gone and I felt everything...it was nothing like I had expected. During the next contraction, the doctor quickly said that he needed to do an epesiotomy and barely waited for a response as he cut me to get the head out. I kept pushing and pushing and felt like I was going to pass out from the pain as they all exclaimed that the head was out. This however, did not lessen the pain. I was trying to push away from the doctor as he told me to look down at the baby’s head. I shrieked as I told him I couldn’t move an inch. Finally, I looked down and could see a little head with brunette hair. That gave me an extra boost as I pushed out the shoulders and the rest of our baby girl’s little body. Right at that moment I felt so much relief as I lay back in the bed. I watched as Steve cut the umbilical cord and then as Doctor Barton held her in his lap and cleaned her off with a towel. He was taking extra special care of her and was treating her as if she was one of his own. He was talking to her a little bit and then told her she was going to see her mommy. He placed her on my tummy and my emotions took over. I held her little head in my left hand and her little bum in my right hand and Steve and I looked at our little daughter who we had created together. My heart was so full! I was so happy to have our little Elli in my arms.
Elliana Grace Johnston was born at 3:33 a.m. on December 20, 2006. She weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz., was 20 inches long, and her head was 13 ¼ in. around. She was really pink from the beginning and while the nurses carried her away to clean her up, I could hear all of them gushing over her beautiful dimples. That made me smile. Our little girl had my dimples and she was already getting a lot of attention for them. There was nothing major wrong with her, only a little mucous in her stomach and a big swollen bruise on the back of her head from the suction. Doctor Barton was so kind to us during the whole event and congratulated me on pushing her out. He said he had been fearful of a c-section since the moment I had walked in the morning before. And then when he noticed that my bone structure was narrow on the inside, he thought for sure he would have to take the baby out via c-section. He was glad that the situation took a different turn and told us to enjoy our little miracle.
Now Elli is home and has been such a joy! Sometimes Steve and I stop what we’re doing and just stare at her and all her tiny features. It’s amazing that we created this little being. It’s also amazing that our Heavenly Father has trusted us with her and has blessed us with an even better understanding of our purpose here on earth. I am especially grateful for the glimpses of heaven I receive when I think about Elli and our other children that are waiting to come to earth. Parenthood is such a terrific calling with all of the learning and joy. And boy am I sure glad I am not doing this alone! Steve has been such a supportive husband and wonderful daddy to Elli. I often times catch him staring at her with such a content look on his face, maybe thinking about all of the years to come with our little Elli. It will sure be fun to see where our life takes us and how many more times we are able to add to our small family. With the Lord’s help, we’re willing to do anything!
Okay, that's it. I know it's lengthy but it was fun to go back and remember everything that happened. I started writing this when Elli was about a week old and worked on it here and there for a few weeks. So some things were hard to remember but for the most part, the dates, times, etc. are pretty accurate. Oh, and I am bummed that it did not attach like I wanted it to so here's a slide show of the pics so you can see how they went with the story. Talk to you guys soon!
Oh and here's a video of Elli's first bath in the hospital. It goes along with the story. I think the poor girl was in shock and just scared out of her mind. Who knows??!!
Love you guys!!
Ashley
2 comments:
Oh man...as traumatizing as that all sounds and seems and was I'm sure...I cried at the end...and now want a baby more than ever. :) Thank you so much for sharing that with us! I absolutely loved it! You're an amazing woman Ashley!! And a wonderful mother! Love you!
oh my gosh...I wasn't expecting that. Thanks Katie. I was kind of reluctant to share the whole thing (because it was like one big personal journal entry for me) but I'm glad I did. Just you wait....;o) Love you!
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